Does anyone else ever feel like they’re faking it? Especially on medication. Like sometimes I just genuinely believe I’m a liar, that I made all this stuff up for attention. I know for sure I’m depressed, I can’t possibly doubt that given the state of my room and my level of motivation, but I’m bipolar (type II) and since I’m on meds I rarely get hypomania, and honestly not getting mania makes me feel so invalid. When my psychiatrist asks me “have you had any racing thoughts, impulsive behavior, high energy?” and I say no, I always feel like that makes me less mentally ill. Like one of these days she’s going to say “ope you aren’t bipolar at all you exaggerated everything this whole time.” I have to remind myself that there was a time when I was -$90 in my bank account because I would spend and spend. And hypomania was always hard to spot because I just felt.. better. But the depression has always ruled over the mania. Maybe it’s because my dad used to fake illnesses for meds. My mom was anti medicine because of this, when I told her I thought I was depressed in high school she said “well what do you want, just medicine?” Ugh I just hate feeling like I’m crazy, like I’m a liar. [link] [comments] Anyone else feel like they’re faking everything? published first on https://neuroscientia.blogspot.com/ via Tumblr Anyone else feel like they're faking everything?
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With an academic background in health and Creative Writing, I’m endlessly curious about mental health, bioethics, and genetics. I’m passionate about research and delivering high quality, reliable content to my readers. I’m a certified personal trainer and group fitness instructor and wellness educator. |